Friendships are what hold us together. They are a chance to find kindred spirits, create memories, and build a different type of family to the one you were born into. However, while many of these friendships are ones that you feel honored to have, there are others which, while starting great, soon turn toxic. Like bad relationships, you must get out of these friendships as soon as possible. But it isn’t as easy as this. Instead, you must recognize the signs of a bad friend so that you know when and why to ditch them.
They Are Always Take, Take, Take
Real friendships are all about mutual respect and appreciation. You will do something for them, and they do something for you in turn. Bad friends, however, don’t subscribe to this. Instead, they expect you to do all the heavy lifting. They expect you to drop your entire day when they are having a crisis and come to their rescue.
And because you’re a good friend, you’re happy to do this. But they would not do the same for you. A friendship can only exist if both parties understand one another’s needs, but if one side will only take advantage, then it’s time to ditch them for someone who will respect you.
Likewise, they might only be interested in doing things that they want to do. Toxic friends will drop their plans at the last minute to do something they deem more interesting, even if you had it planned for weeks or even months. These plans could be as simple as relaxing with them at home, playing games, watching TV, or browsing an online smoke shop. They could be or something bigger, though. Perhaps you’ve planned to go on a trip and enjoy some much-needed time away. It always stings when you feel your company is not as good as someone else’s.
You don’t deserve this, so don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself and remind them how important your plans were and how hurt you are by their behavior. If it falls on deaf ears, then, by all means, ditch them as soon as possible.
They Refuse to Acknowledge Their Faults (But Are Always Pointing Out Yours)
Everyone has their faults; there is no disputing that, but while positive friendships will offer advice and call people out if they catch them acting or speaking wrong, this isn’t what you will find with a toxic friend. It can be difficult to take criticism, but most people will accept it and try to change. A bad friend will not do this, and instead, try to turn it around onto others.
Suppose their behavior is especially destructive to themselves and others. In that case, you might even try to help them by suggesting therapy or an affordable addiction treatment center to help them overcome their issues. However, any attempts at helping them fall on deaf ears cannot help them if they don’t first want to help themselves.
You Don’t Like Who You Become Around Them
Being around your friends should make you happy. You should look forward to hanging out, even if you’re just relaxing at their house watching endless trash TV. However, with bad friends, you almost dread seeing them. It could be because any time spent with them is always filled with drama and them playing the victim in all scenarios, or it could be that you don’t like who you become when you’re with them.
This is especially true when you’ve been friends for years. You will regress into a version of yourself that you have tried hard to evolve from. Even if you resist, your friend will act hurt and try to make you feel guilty until you accept and join them in whatever they are doing.
Making New Friends
It’s scary to ditch friends that you might have had for years, and it can be even scarier to put yourself out there and make new friends. However, by ditching your harmful and toxic friends, you’ll find that you are happier, less stressed, and can finally be yourself.